batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
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