Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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