easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
