he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
