oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
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