she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
porn star boner night. come get it.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
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