I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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