Where are you?
In a non slutty way
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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