HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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