Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
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