Porn is love you can see.
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
