so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
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