two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Randomize
