fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
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