just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
