I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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