I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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