Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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