Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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