But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
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