I molested 6 butterflies tonight
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
