I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
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