What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
