His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
