He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
