I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
