I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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