Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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