i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Randomize
