Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Randomize
