I think I am morally bankrupt
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Randomize
