He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I touched a dick in church today
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Randomize
