By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Randomize
