i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize
