It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
