You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize