It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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