An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
