We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
