What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
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