Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
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