Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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