so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
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