She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Randomize
