dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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