super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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