Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
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