Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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