do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Sorry about my life...
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
