don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
no you cant smoke seaweed
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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