erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
