Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
you never un-have a 4some
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Randomize
