I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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