me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
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