Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize
