did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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