I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
