I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
