What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
