If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
