It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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