There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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