dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
