Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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