did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
