forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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