If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
