He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
