Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Randomize
