i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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