you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Randomize
